Mixed signals

I recently went on my third Tinder date. I had briefly chatted with this guy a couple of weeks ago and had dismissed him because of my lazy Tinder habits, but throw in some wine and highly encouraging friends and a date was set. I thought why not? I’m starting to blog about my experiences, so I should probably actually get some.

This guy will be nicknamed ‘period guy’. Not because he is PMSing or has actual periods, but because it’s sounds slightly nicer than ‘full stop guy’, meaning this guy uses a lot of full stops in his messages and very little other punctuation. I immediately assumed douchebag and that I would have a miserable time, so I have to admit I didn’t go into it with a completely open mind or enthusiasm of any kind. I just thought I would get it over with and hopefully spend an hour or two making pleasantries over some type of mixed drink, preferably Tequila.

He was cute, which was a good start. He was also taller than me by several inches, and I made sure to stick by my cardinal rule of always wearing flats when meeting someone who’s height is unknown. This may sound shallow, but anyone who tells you that attraction level (which to me includes the guy being tall enough where I can wear at least 3 inch heels) isn’t important is a complete liar. Once that awkward first stage was over, we went up to the bar and ordered drinks. We ended up chatting for 4 hours about every topic possible, ranging from our family to favourite movies and TV shows.  After eating dinner he indicated it was time to call it a night. After an awkward goodbye exchange (no kiss), we went our separate ways.

The next day we exchanged a couple of texts, nothing meaningful and although I hinted at a second date, so far nothing substantial has come from it. At that point I wondered, is this worth my time? Do I really want to invest in someone who is sort of whatever about the whole thing? But, my logical side perked up its annoying head and reminded me that this was a FIRST TINDER DATE, if you can really even call it a date. More like a meeting with a person who you are attracted to. I then wondered whether the rules for normal dates applied. Is it fair to expect a person to put in effort after only knowing you for a few hours? Maybe on a normal date where one person asked the other out. But here? Playing devil’s advocate, if a person is into you, it doesn’t matter how you met, right? They would ask you out again. That’s how all of my past relationships have started– the guy has pursued me from the start, no playing games, no is he interested questions. All of this assumes that I am into him, which I am not sure I am, even after 4 hours. So, I guess it’s not fair for me to judge him when I am just as guilty.

I did learn a bit about myself, which vindicates my reasons for going on the Tinder Meeting. I like to talk, a lot, and about things that probably aren’t first date appropriate. Though to be fair, he was saying similar things. But, maybe they are first Tinder Meeting appropriate! Either way, I need to work on my filter, at least for the first meeting, which is ironic because I feel that I can be very emotionally closed off. I also realised that I have no clue how to flirt. None. That’s another thing I will work on on my next Tinder Meeting. As much as I hate dating, I think I am slowly making progress.

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