Why I deleted my RSVP account

One tipsy night, a girl friend convinced me to sign up with RSVP. “Try it babe, it’s nice to go out on dates on a Friday” and “something to look forward to and practice your flirting skills”. She walked me through her account and inbox, and I thought okay why not? That night, we answered the survey and put up a picture. Sure enough I get “kisses” the next day… Some of the guys didn’t seem to read the perimeter that I set out! Age range, height… Come on boys! Really… it’s not attractive if you can’t read and follow direction. What really creeped me out was the 50+ men who sent me “kisses”… I deleted those immediately.

I went on dates with 2 guys from RSVP: an Australian Irish lad and a middle child Aussie dude. I also exchanged emails with a few other guys, but only 2 memorable ones: a lawyer turned doctor and a Frenchie. My date with the Australian Irish lad went really well as far as a first date went. We had drinks and dinner, laughed a ton – but the sparks weren’t there. He was keen to see me again, but I only saw us as friends. When I told him this, he replied that he’d like to get to know me but if romance wasn’t in the cards then we should just wish each other the best. So I did.

I remembered hesitating when I saw the middle child Aussie dude’s pictures and profile. After second read of his profile and urging myself to be open, I sent him a “kiss” saying “I look forward to hearing from you”. A day later his email came and we exchanged a few more… he was quite happy to read and email instead of asking me out on a date. A month later he asked me out and after a rescheduling we finally met in person. I should have taken his hesitancy to ask me out, the calendar conflict, and my original hesitation as signs!

As soon as I saw him I had a sinking feeling, but it was too late to back out and too rude to walk away. So I played along. We had drinks and dinner – conversation flowed… On paper he was a nice guy. We parted ways and I could tell he wanted a kiss, so I scurried along. I should have deleted and blocked his contact then and there (shoulda, coulda, woulda but didn’t! I learned my lesson – don’t worry!!) He sent me a text that night saying what a great time he had and how he’d love to see me again.

I have to admit, it was flattering to received that text immediately and not have to wonder. I thought, “I do need to have dinner and on paper he seemed nice, let’s give him a second date and see if there’s any spark”. (Note to you all online daters out there… your gut feeling is usually right!) However, even half an hour before the date, I had no motivation to go. It was too late to cancel and I pride myself on not being a flake, so I trudged along. I saw him and thought gosh I’d rather be anywhere but here! I should have turned around and run like mad.

During dinner he came on way too strong… He made plans later in the year for us, asking me to send him updates when I was away on my scheduled vacation, asking me on a third date when I was days away from going on vacation… Who the hell is this guy?! Suddenly, I was frantically yet subtly scanning the room for a quick exit. I felt like a cornered animal! The icing on the cake came when we exited the restaurant and he said to me “hey, I’m not a stalker but I’m gonna walk you home okay?…” No, you’re not buddy. I walked him to a random intersection and lost him there, but before I made my escape he grabbed me and kissed me. I pleaded discomfort over PDA and dashed off.

The next day I sent him a text saying thank you for the date, but that it’s best if we wish each other the best. A couple of hours later, I received a reply which confirmed that I had indeed bruise his ego and that he was in fact reading me wrong. His text claimed that I was a materialistic princess,  that he was chasing me for sex, while also being racist and nationalist.

Thank you for sending me that my dear middle child Aussie dude. I felt bad sending you that text, but your reply freed me of any guilt and regret. In fact, it made me so grateful and relieved that I did. Good luck with your love life… I hope you will find some maturity and realize that rejection is part of life.

I would be lying if I say that this bizarre experience did not factor in my decision to close my RSVP account before it’s 3 month anniversary. I like the way Tinder works, at least for right now. It only allows you to chat with people you are attracted to. In real life, when you meet a person you have an instant reaction: like, dislike, or neutral. Well, Tinder recreates this – and as with my experience with that second child Aussie dude, I have to say in online dating your gut instinct is right…most of the time.

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