Let’s admit it, rating these guys on Tinder (or girls) is a guilty pleasure. It goes against the ideals on how you should judge a person: on their personality, character, action…. instead of a skin deep superficiality. Having said that, I would also be the first person to say that whoever said looks don’t matter is lying!!! Looks DEFINITELY matter –you need to have an attraction to your partner. After you have that initial attraction then the other stuff will lower or heighten that person’s overall score (yes, I judge, and so do YOU).
This is how I usually describe the scoring process:
1. You think someone is attractive and you give them an 8
2. You start talking to each other and from his conversation, his personality emerges and that initial 8 can either go up or down depending on the non-physical elements.
With Tinder, you don’t get a conversation before you get matched. So how do I decide yes or no? Purely from judging the pictures… Sure, I try to guess what kind of personality they have from the pictures. There was this really cool article from the New York Times recently on how well someone can read another person’s emotion. It even has a quiz. So it kinda confirms my belief that you can “read” a stranger’s personality from their pictures. Click here for the article and quiz.
A picture is worth a thousand words right?! Sure it’s not going to be 100% accurate, but it’s a point of reference!
#1. Shirtless pictures tell me that you’re into your body and want everyone to notice that. You’ve worked hard to get there and kudos to you, but it’s a little narcissistic… That’s a left swipe. NEXT!
For this category, there’s a “worst offender” and there’s one exception.
– Worst offender: when you’re flexing yours muscle in front of the mirror and taking a shirtless selfie where your camera is visible.
– One exception: when you’re shirtless but doing something cool like kite surfing, or something that is not just posing….
#2. It’s a landscape picture not a profile picture. Am I going out on a date with THAT landscape? Okay, sure there’s a person hanging on the side of a building there, but if I need to get a magnifying glass to decipher you face…. that would be a no.
#3. Sunglasses. If the picture is an outdoor shot, sure it’s legit to have your sunnies on. But if all of your pictures are you with your sunnies on… How am I supposed to know what you actually look like?
#4. Group photo – I dig guys that have their own friends and lives. Group pictures tells me that hey you have friends! If all of your pictures are in a group setting, I really just can’t be bothered to play “Where’s Wally” and try to figure out which one is the constant face in the pictures…
Sorry I can’t find a good one for this… isn’t it always the case that when you’re not looking you get all these group shots and now that I was looking for it, NONE. Fact of life. You all know what I mean… You’ve seen it. Look, I’m not saying DON’T do it, just put it up sparingly – put at least ONE picture where it’s just YOU!
#5. Cozy pictures with a girl – Is that your girlfriend? Ex-girlfriend? Why are you on tinder? Oh right… anything goes on Tinder… but seriously though… it raises a red flag.
#6. Wedding photos – I don’t think I need to elaborate on this.
#7. Photo with a baby or little kids… I can’t decide on this one because well if you have kids you have kids. If the kid is yours, can you explain so on your tag line? And if not, state the relation!
There are other weird photos out there, but I think these sum up the main categories. Do let me know if you find other categories that I missed.
Bottom line is we’re all judges here on Tinder. I judge you and you judge me. Pick your pictures wisely.