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Going Blonde Part IV

I lost track of what number of dates Blondie and I are on now. Since my last post, not too long from our date #3, I have added him on Facebook, had a misunderstanding and cleared that up (a friend claimed that it was Blondie and my first fight – I chalked it up to misunderstanding….), went on another dinner date, had a home cooked meal at Blondie’s,  went on a movie night, and had him met a good friend of mine. And… we have another outing planned soon.

I wasn’t sure after our 4th date whether Blondie was IT for me, as he might have to leave Sydney after a year. I don’t see the point of developing feelings and attachments to a guy for only a year. He has been so sweet and treated me so well that it was hard for me tojust cut him lose. I brought up the topic and told him about this concern. I told him that I would be okay for him to date other girls while I figure what my decision is on him. Of course by letting him date others, I also implicitly giving myself that same privilege! He threw me off guard by saying that he’s not the kind of guy to date more than one girl at the same time. Ha! Cute… BUT!!! There goes my plan…. crap.

We didn’t talk about the subject anymore till after he cooked me dinner. He asked me if I had made a decision yet. I can’t remember how I answered, but I didn’t give him a decision as I didn’t have it. The night he made me dinner brought me closer to taking the leap of faith though. There’s something about a boy cooking me dinner and being adept in the kitchen that is so adorable. I may be giving way too much details here, but he even alternated the slices of tomatoes and mozzarella for the salad. Attention to details!!! At the end dinner, he packed me food for my dinner the next day. A-do-ra-ble. My BFF who lives across the Pacific claims that the way to my heart is not through a diamond ring, but to pack me lunch and/or dinner – and he’d be right.

The next day, I received a text message asking if I wanted to see Gravity at the IMAX, Blondie’s treat because I mentioned that I was feeling broke. And these are just the highlights of the cute and sweet things he does! I realized that afternoon that I would be stupid to not give whatever this is I have with Blondie a proper go. Am I scared? YES, abso-effin-lutely. But I can’t live my life not risking getting hurt at all. There’s no way you can do that. And as I was weighing this decision, I came across a blog that another close friend of mine forwarded a while back. The most recent post…. is on the risks happy people take everyday… Talk about coincidence!

Am I logging out of Tinder? Not yet.

At least not till we have another conversation where I tell him of my decision and see if he’s still on board.

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Common sense is a punishment

We promised you misadventures and this post is one. I have had a good run with Tinder, especially in the past 3 weeks – so it’s no surprise that two matches that sent me racist and inappropriate comments. I’ve also noticed a lot more people are using it, so as it’s popularity grows, there will be some idiots out there who use it. Expectation…. RESET!

My friend and I were walking back from a nice evening out on Sydney harbour and dinner with friends when I checked my phone and discovered this message.


Classy! Who wouldn’t want to meet this guy?! My friend took my phone and replied to him  basically telling him to get a grip of himself. His reply was even worse. I didn’t received it until the next morning and it was such an unpleasant thing to read in that I blocked him right away. I would have loved to yell at him, but I don’t think it would do any good. If anything, it would be exactly what he wanted: a reaction. Looking back, I wished I had reported him before I blocked him. Oh well, lesson learned… I now know where the report button is!

This morning, I received another winning one liner: “YOLO, c*ntz”. Unfortunately, I didn’t take a picture (my friend took the above picture and I asked her to send it to me to post). Fortunately, now that I know where the report button is, I reported him then deleted jerk-face 2.0.

I thought it was common sense to be polite to people, but it’s NOT. Common sense is a misleading term, because truth be told, it’s actually very RARE! If anything, it’s a punishment. Grumpy cat, I agree with you!

common sense memes

So, what winning lines have you received on Tinder? Share them with us!

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Going Blonde Part III

The cafe list for our coffee date was good, but due to public holiday some of the cafes were closing early or closed. I didn’t take any points off Blondie because I would have made a similar mistake. As it was nearly 5pm, we decided to grab take away coffee in Surry Hills and head to the park to enjoy the sun. Again, I felt comfortable and conversation flowed easily. My mind was burning with one question though… why did he break up with his girlfriend of 5 years when she moved overseas for him? At the same time, I of course was anticipating this third kiss… Neither happened at the park.

We ended up watching an episode of Game of Thrones at my flat and had the third and fourth and fifth and (you get the point) kisses in my living room. Walking back to my flat and in my living room, Blondie played it cool. He was never pushy or too eager. I had anticipated feeling I might need to use force or argue my way out of an awkward situation. But, he communicated well and was always making sure I was comfortable.

I asked him the girlfriend question and he said it’s because their paths were going in different directions and that it was an amicable break up. They’re still friends and catch up regularly though not daily or weekly. Fair enough… He admitted that if one of them is start a new relationship then of course that would change. Another good answer, but it’s easy to talk the talk but harder to walk the walk. Thus far, Blondie has walked the walk… It’ll unfold… I just have to wait and see.

I didn’t get a text around the time that he would have gotten home, so I sent him a text him since I kicked him out not long after the GOT episode ended. We exchanged a couple of texts and he asked if he could add me on Facebook. I think I’m gonna sleep on that for now.

Blondie… He’s cute, sweet, and treats me so well. I love the efforts that he put for our dates. I like the fact that it’s so easy and comfortable to be around him. My happily married or in a long term relationship friends always told me that you know when you meet the right person because things are easy and not complicated. I don’t know if I believe in “the right person” anymore, but my friends’ words floated in my head during and after our third date. I don’t think I will see him this week due to his work schedule and I’m kinda glad. I need to process this. It’s only been three dates, so it’s still early days. Whatever comes, I’m glad we have had three great dates and I’m going to enjoy it for now.

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First day of Tindering

Yes, it’s a verb for me now… I tinder. I was tindering. I tindered. I have tindered. I will tinder. *sigh* Laugh or cry as you will. It is what it is.

Within 24 hours of installing Tinder, I had around 10-20 matches. It felt like winning a game–it was gratifying. My ego was stroked – the people I found attractive thought I was attractive too! I also like the fact that only those you find attractive can talk to you as opposed to mainstream dating sites where people outside your specified age range, location or other filter you set, sent you random messages. What used to annoy me the most was the constant stream of older men sending me messages. Really… can you not read?! But I digress, I am telling you about my fist day of tindering and my first ever date from Tinder.

“Tinder said that our kids are gonna be good looking” was what Kiwi Photographer said to me as his opening line at 7am on a Sunday morning. Curious with how this whole thing worked on Tinder, I played along and he invited me for coffee that afternoon. Yup, same afternoon! Thinking that I did need my weekend cup of coffee, I thought why not… To further psych myself up, I thought this coffee is or should be free anyway! With these thoughts and an open mind, I off I went.

He was only 1 or 2 inches taller than me. He looked like his picture, but what can I say? Height is an important attractiveness measure for me. We chatted for a bit, he got me coffee, and yes it was awkward. Luckily for me, I had an afternoon tea scheduled so I left. Keeping an open mind and telling myself that I couldn’t possibly judge a guy after only meeting him for 30 minutes, I responded to his messages afterwards. That is until he said that we could not go on coffee dates forever and proposed to come over with a six pack for a movie…

Ha… is that what you call it these days?!

Oh…, hello!! Welcome to the world of Tinder – where all bets are off.

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Going Blonde Part II

It’s been less than a week since my last date with Blondie and I already had a third date. Yeah, I’m also wow-ed. Our second dinner date went really well. I picked a restaurant in Darlinghurst from the list of options he gave me. Blondie was waiting for me in front of the restaurant when I arrived. After a huge smile and a kiss on the cheek he told me that he tried to get a booking, but since the restaurant only accepted bookings for 8+ people he arrived early to put his name down for us. Ha… a list of options for restaurants and small bars, called ahead to book and when that didn’t happen, he went early to put his name down. Blondie has earned A+ for effort. Impressed!

During dinner he admitted that he had sourced those restaurant and small bar recommendations from his housemate of 2 weeks and half of his office workmates. Again, I was impressed by his effort. We shared our food and conversation flowed easily. I stared at him confirming that he was indeed cute. I guess I was pretty amazed at how this cute blonde that I met on Tinder of all places made such an effort for our second date. I suppose after a few disastrous dates of my own and friend stories, I was wondering if a ‘catch’ actually existed. Cynical of me, I know… When I offered to split dinner bill, Blondie declined, explaining that he asked me out so it’s his treat. He scored some brownie points with that. He’s good.

After dinner we ended up at a nearby small bar and had a drink each. I insisted on getting this one because I hate feeling that I owe someone. We chatted and chatted, the next time I glanced at my watch it was already 10:55pm! Where had the 4 hours gone?! As we walked back to catch our trains, we continued telling stories. I felt really comfortable around him and am amazed how easy it felt, no awkwardness or weird vibe. He stole the first kiss when we were waiting for the pedestrian traffic light to turn green. I had been wondering what it would felt like to kiss him during dinner and now I didn’t have to. How was it? Let’s just borrow a line from Katy Perry’s song and change it a little shall we? “I kissed a [blonde] and I liked it”. When we parted at the station, he stole another one but I suppose I was willing to give it anyway by that point. I just wished the lighting was more suitable for the mood of that moment!

Blondie later sent me a text telling me what a great time he had at dinner and wished me a good night. I liked that I don’t have to wonder with Blondie regarding whether or not he likes me. I love that he’s so straightforward and direct… it’s refreshing! I feel like I’m going on dates to get to know him as opposed to figuring out what’s his game is. Everyday as sure as the sun rises in the east, I’d get at least 2 texts from him – no clingy-ness, no games, no guesswork, no waiting games. The next day we ended up chatting via text where he playfully told me about his date last night and how he wished he had more time to steal a third kiss. To which I replied that maybe he should ask his date out again if can fit it in with his busy work schedule. His reply? He sure can find time because it’s all a matter of prioritization… I was as impressed as Michael Caine’s Victor Melling character in Miss Congeniality when Gracie Hart answered the beauty pageant’s questions well.

Long story short, he asked me out on a third date and I accepted. This time we planned on going for coffee and he was off researching again. Alas, it had to be done during the weekend so he’d only have his housemate and the internet to source from and forgo his office mates.

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My first time

Tinder. My first encounter with the word occurred on a bright, sunny, beautiful morning where the birds were chirping.. OK, not really. One of my friends mentioned it casually to me as an app to use if I was bored. I wasn’t really bored when I tried it, I was more annoyed at the state of my dating life which had hit rock bottom after a breakup with an ex 2 years ago. This past year I decided that I was going to become adventurous and meet new people, specifically new men. I met a few that lasted all of a week or two. Nothing really stuck.

I’m not a fan of online dating. The same friend tried to set me up with an rsvp account. I could not maintain it for more than 3 days. I guess I have a version of ADD mixed with a semi-closed off personality when it comes to dating. Most importantly, I have very little time in my day to spend trying to get to know guys in more than a superficial way. All of these attributes make me perfect for the Facebook of dating: Tinder. All I need to do is push the little green yes button and not have to wade through the countless profiles, stupid tag lines and creepy men. Then I can chat to them in a FREE messenger style context and set up a date rather than having to buy tokens to e-mail potential dates. I mean, isn’t the point of online dating to actually go on a REAL date?

I currently have been on 2 dates from Tinder and talked to countless men, which will be detailed in my next blogs. Do I expect to meet my soul mate? Extremely unlikely. But, it’s sorta fun in a very egotistical way.  I have decided to post all of my Tinder tragedies and triumphs to hopefully gain perspective. My ultimate goal is to use this as a stepping stone to being more comfortable with myself and with dating.

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How did it start

Sometime in April this year, I was organizing a catch up dinner with my friends when I realized that I would be the only single person. Yet, in the 5 weeks before the dinner, most of the couples broke up, with only 2 couples remaining. Must be something in the air!

My social butterfly friend announced merrily that she was excited to embark on singlehood and that she has found this fun app… Yep, you guessed it, Tinder. A week or two later, another friend signed up with tinder. Then another one! I was curious, but because you have to sign up with Facebook, I was concern about anonymity when ‘liking’ someone on Tinder. I DON’T want everyone to know who I think is hot or not!

My friend assured me that you will only be notified if both you and the guy (or girl) like each other. Phew… Okay, so I went to my App store, searched for Tinder, and downloaded it. Within 5 minutes, I was sold on the whole Tinder thing. Suddenly, I felt like I was curating the Sydney male population. It was so easy and quick as there were no annoying profiles to read.

Does it feel like it’s a vanity contest? Sure! But admit it — when you’re out and about everyone checks everyone out. The difference is that you can choose which pictures you want to be shown and it leaves the guessing game out of it. If you both think each other is attractive based on the pictures, Tinder lets you know. The rest is up to you.

Does it sound like there will be tons of guys who are just in it for a one night stand? Oh yes, and girls too!

So is Tinder the right place to look for Mr. Right? I don’t know. Maybe not … probably not. All I know is that I have gotten tons of matches and been on 10 dates. Sometimes I had 3 dates in a week… (dating suddenly feels like a full time job!)

The jury is out and only time will tell, but I’m willing to give it a go. What have I got to lose?!

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