Tag Archives: dates

Going Blonde Part III

The cafe list for our coffee date was good, but due to public holiday some of the cafes were closing early or closed. I didn’t take any points off Blondie because I would have made a similar mistake. As it was nearly 5pm, we decided to grab take away coffee in Surry Hills and head to the park to enjoy the sun. Again, I felt comfortable and conversation flowed easily. My mind was burning with one question though… why did he break up with his girlfriend of 5 years when she moved overseas for him? At the same time, I of course was anticipating this third kiss… Neither happened at the park.

We ended up watching an episode of Game of Thrones at my flat and had the third and fourth and fifth and (you get the point) kisses in my living room. Walking back to my flat and in my living room, Blondie played it cool. He was never pushy or too eager. I had anticipated feeling I might need to use force or argue my way out of an awkward situation. But, he communicated well and was always making sure I was comfortable.

I asked him the girlfriend question and he said it’s because their paths were going in different directions and that it was an amicable break up. They’re still friends and catch up regularly though not daily or weekly. Fair enough… He admitted that if one of them is start a new relationship then of course that would change. Another good answer, but it’s easy to talk the talk but harder to walk the walk. Thus far, Blondie has walked the walk… It’ll unfold… I just have to wait and see.

I didn’t get a text around the time that he would have gotten home, so I sent him a text him since I kicked him out not long after the GOT episode ended. We exchanged a couple of texts and he asked if he could add me on Facebook. I think I’m gonna sleep on that for now.

Blondie… He’s cute, sweet, and treats me so well. I love the efforts that he put for our dates. I like the fact that it’s so easy and comfortable to be around him. My happily married or in a long term relationship friends always told me that you know when you meet the right person because things are easy and not complicated. I don’t know if I believe in “the right person” anymore, but my friends’ words floated in my head during and after our third date. I don’t think I will see him this week due to his work schedule and I’m kinda glad. I need to process this. It’s only been three dates, so it’s still early days. Whatever comes, I’m glad we have had three great dates and I’m going to enjoy it for now.

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Why I deleted my RSVP account

One tipsy night, a girl friend convinced me to sign up with RSVP. “Try it babe, it’s nice to go out on dates on a Friday” and “something to look forward to and practice your flirting skills”. She walked me through her account and inbox, and I thought okay why not? That night, we answered the survey and put up a picture. Sure enough I get “kisses” the next day… Some of the guys didn’t seem to read the perimeter that I set out! Age range, height… Come on boys! Really… it’s not attractive if you can’t read and follow direction. What really creeped me out was the 50+ men who sent me “kisses”… I deleted those immediately.

I went on dates with 2 guys from RSVP: an Australian Irish lad and a middle child Aussie dude. I also exchanged emails with a few other guys, but only 2 memorable ones: a lawyer turned doctor and a Frenchie. My date with the Australian Irish lad went really well as far as a first date went. We had drinks and dinner, laughed a ton – but the sparks weren’t there. He was keen to see me again, but I only saw us as friends. When I told him this, he replied that he’d like to get to know me but if romance wasn’t in the cards then we should just wish each other the best. So I did.

I remembered hesitating when I saw the middle child Aussie dude’s pictures and profile. After second read of his profile and urging myself to be open, I sent him a “kiss” saying “I look forward to hearing from you”. A day later his email came and we exchanged a few more… he was quite happy to read and email instead of asking me out on a date. A month later he asked me out and after a rescheduling we finally met in person. I should have taken his hesitancy to ask me out, the calendar conflict, and my original hesitation as signs!

As soon as I saw him I had a sinking feeling, but it was too late to back out and too rude to walk away. So I played along. We had drinks and dinner – conversation flowed… On paper he was a nice guy. We parted ways and I could tell he wanted a kiss, so I scurried along. I should have deleted and blocked his contact then and there (shoulda, coulda, woulda but didn’t! I learned my lesson – don’t worry!!) He sent me a text that night saying what a great time he had and how he’d love to see me again.

I have to admit, it was flattering to received that text immediately and not have to wonder. I thought, “I do need to have dinner and on paper he seemed nice, let’s give him a second date and see if there’s any spark”. (Note to you all online daters out there… your gut feeling is usually right!) However, even half an hour before the date, I had no motivation to go. It was too late to cancel and I pride myself on not being a flake, so I trudged along. I saw him and thought gosh I’d rather be anywhere but here! I should have turned around and run like mad.

During dinner he came on way too strong… He made plans later in the year for us, asking me to send him updates when I was away on my scheduled vacation, asking me on a third date when I was days away from going on vacation… Who the hell is this guy?! Suddenly, I was frantically yet subtly scanning the room for a quick exit. I felt like a cornered animal! The icing on the cake came when we exited the restaurant and he said to me “hey, I’m not a stalker but I’m gonna walk you home okay?…” No, you’re not buddy. I walked him to a random intersection and lost him there, but before I made my escape he grabbed me and kissed me. I pleaded discomfort over PDA and dashed off.

The next day I sent him a text saying thank you for the date, but that it’s best if we wish each other the best. A couple of hours later, I received a reply which confirmed that I had indeed bruise his ego and that he was in fact reading me wrong. His text claimed that I was a materialistic princess,  that he was chasing me for sex, while also being racist and nationalist.

Thank you for sending me that my dear middle child Aussie dude. I felt bad sending you that text, but your reply freed me of any guilt and regret. In fact, it made me so grateful and relieved that I did. Good luck with your love life… I hope you will find some maturity and realize that rejection is part of life.

I would be lying if I say that this bizarre experience did not factor in my decision to close my RSVP account before it’s 3 month anniversary. I like the way Tinder works, at least for right now. It only allows you to chat with people you are attracted to. In real life, when you meet a person you have an instant reaction: like, dislike, or neutral. Well, Tinder recreates this – and as with my experience with that second child Aussie dude, I have to say in online dating your gut instinct is right…most of the time.

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Going Blonde Part II

It’s been less than a week since my last date with Blondie and I already had a third date. Yeah, I’m also wow-ed. Our second dinner date went really well. I picked a restaurant in Darlinghurst from the list of options he gave me. Blondie was waiting for me in front of the restaurant when I arrived. After a huge smile and a kiss on the cheek he told me that he tried to get a booking, but since the restaurant only accepted bookings for 8+ people he arrived early to put his name down for us. Ha… a list of options for restaurants and small bars, called ahead to book and when that didn’t happen, he went early to put his name down. Blondie has earned A+ for effort. Impressed!

During dinner he admitted that he had sourced those restaurant and small bar recommendations from his housemate of 2 weeks and half of his office workmates. Again, I was impressed by his effort. We shared our food and conversation flowed easily. I stared at him confirming that he was indeed cute. I guess I was pretty amazed at how this cute blonde that I met on Tinder of all places made such an effort for our second date. I suppose after a few disastrous dates of my own and friend stories, I was wondering if a ‘catch’ actually existed. Cynical of me, I know… When I offered to split dinner bill, Blondie declined, explaining that he asked me out so it’s his treat. He scored some brownie points with that. He’s good.

After dinner we ended up at a nearby small bar and had a drink each. I insisted on getting this one because I hate feeling that I owe someone. We chatted and chatted, the next time I glanced at my watch it was already 10:55pm! Where had the 4 hours gone?! As we walked back to catch our trains, we continued telling stories. I felt really comfortable around him and am amazed how easy it felt, no awkwardness or weird vibe. He stole the first kiss when we were waiting for the pedestrian traffic light to turn green. I had been wondering what it would felt like to kiss him during dinner and now I didn’t have to. How was it? Let’s just borrow a line from Katy Perry’s song and change it a little shall we? “I kissed a [blonde] and I liked it”. When we parted at the station, he stole another one but I suppose I was willing to give it anyway by that point. I just wished the lighting was more suitable for the mood of that moment!

Blondie later sent me a text telling me what a great time he had at dinner and wished me a good night. I liked that I don’t have to wonder with Blondie regarding whether or not he likes me. I love that he’s so straightforward and direct… it’s refreshing! I feel like I’m going on dates to get to know him as opposed to figuring out what’s his game is. Everyday as sure as the sun rises in the east, I’d get at least 2 texts from him – no clingy-ness, no games, no guesswork, no waiting games. The next day we ended up chatting via text where he playfully told me about his date last night and how he wished he had more time to steal a third kiss. To which I replied that maybe he should ask his date out again if can fit it in with his busy work schedule. His reply? He sure can find time because it’s all a matter of prioritization… I was as impressed as Michael Caine’s Victor Melling character in Miss Congeniality when Gracie Hart answered the beauty pageant’s questions well.

Long story short, he asked me out on a third date and I accepted. This time we planned on going for coffee and he was off researching again. Alas, it had to be done during the weekend so he’d only have his housemate and the internet to source from and forgo his office mates.

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