He’s just not that into me

discombobulate – dis·com·bob·u·late|ˌdiskəmˈbäbyəˌlāt|

verb [ trans. ] humorous disconcert or confuse (someone) : this attitude totally discombobulated Bruce | [asadj. ] (discombobulated) he is looking a little pained and discombobulated.

It’s not dating if you don’t feel discombobulated. This word describes perfectly how I feel about Soccer stud. We were matched one Sunday night and ended up discovering that we both went to schools in the same area. Potentially we could have been on the same train or bus way back then. What a great cute meet story hey? Attraction point #1.

I discovered that he plays soccer and basketball. Team sports kinda guy. I approve. Attraction point #2. He asked how tall I was and he told me that he’s 6″2. Again, I approve. Attraction point #3.

We share the same philosophy in dating: you still should have your own lives and friends instead of merging two individuals into one couple personality. Attraction point #4. He cleans. Attraction #5.

He asked what I was up to in the upcoming week, I cheekily added “… going on a date if I were asked”. And he did, so we set a date for Thursday. Everyday till Thursday, he’d message me daily and we would chat. Conversation flowed easily. Thursday came around and he was early. Tall, dark haired with dimples. I found him cute and attractive. We had drinks and chatted for a couple of hours, then had dinner and the next time I glanced at my watch, it was near midnight. We were spending 5+ hours on this first date.

When we said good bye and he leaned down, I could feel his brain thinking do I kiss on the cheek or the lips? I guess my telepathy didn’t work because he kissed me on the cheek instead. He said he’d message me, or tinder me. I laughed and we went on own ways. 30 minutes later, he sent me a text while on the train saying “I forgot to tell you that you look gorgeous tonight”.

The next morning I decided to take a chance and told him that I think he’s cute. Again, he messaged me daily. The following week, he kept on asking me what I was doing, but not asking me out. So I thought ok, let’s take one for the team and suggested we hang out on Friday.

Somewhere between the first date and Friday, he said with an “lol” that I was aggressive for not taking a while to get him to ask me out. I thought I was being cheeky, but everyone sees things differently. I asked him how he would have preferred it to unfold and he said he would probably wait a little later before asking me out. When I joked if we should cancel Friday and wait till he asks me, he said no and insisted we meet. It turns out that I could only meet him in the morning and he was good to wake up early and drive to wherever. We spent 2 hours easily while having breakfast and if I didn’t have to go, I think we could easily stay another hour. Again, he kissed me on the cheek when we parted. Then I didn’t hear from him for a week till he sent me a one liner “what’s happening tonight?”

I felt discombobulated. We spent 5+ hours on our first date, he sent me a text after he didn’t kiss me saying that he thought I was gorgeous. He said yes to breakfast instead of sleeping in and again spent a good two hours for breakfast. I didn’t get it. Well… I do now, I just didn’t want to admit it because any type of rejection sucks. I gotta let it go and accept that ‘he’s just not that into me‘. It was easier to feel confusion and discombobulation than think that he’s not into me.